" The Young Carer Rap"

Raising awareness of Young Carer's is vitally important.  A young carer has been described as a person under 25 who provides assistance to a family member with an illness, disability, or language barrier.  Assistance may be provided daily or when needed in conditions which are relapsing-remitting.

It is often difficult for young carers to identify that they are indeed young carers as they just do what is needed for their family member.  Programs to support young carers can offer support, information, advocacy and opportunities for "kids to be kids".

Lucky is a young man who raps about his care giving experiences and the impacts they have on his life.
Here is a link to his rap.


Please take this opportunity to view his rap and support awareness to the Young Carer's Movement.

Young Carer Rap- Click here

Hidden Costs and Benefits of Young Caregiving

In May I attended the first International Congress on Young Carers hosted by the University of British Columbia.  The conference was three days filled with information, sharing and networking between programs and groups around the world interested in filling the void that is left in families due to chronic illness and disability.  The conference was three pronged bringing together Children of Parents with Mental Illness (COPMI), Young Carers, and Family Mental Health.  All three groups were passionate about their
mission however at the end of the conference we all realized how much common ground we shared.


I promised I would report back on the rich information and experience that the conference provided and it was very difficult to synthesize the amount of information that was presented.  The presentations offered insights from research to heart felt testimonials and sharing of lived experiences.


Yesterday, a study was released that brought things full circle.  The Vanier Institute of the Family released a study entitled Young Carers in Canada- The Hidden Costs and Benefits of Young Caregiving.  In my role on the local young carers project, I was contacted by a reporter who wanted to cover the story.  In preparation for my interview with her I reviewed the study, and was taken back to a moment in the conference when I heard this researcher, Grant Charles talk about this study.


In his presentation he discussed a wide variety of subjects pertaining to young carers but there was one element that struck a raw cord for me and my daughter sitting in the audience.  He talked about the issue of 'parentification'.  It is so hard for families to step forward due to the stigma that is present when disability requires care to be provided by a young person to an adult in the family.  As a person living with chronic illness there is nothing that cuts to the quick closer than being unable to do day to day tasks and needing to ask for support and assistance from the very people you are supposed to be caring for.


In this study, there is an important distinction between what it means to provide care in the context of a mutually supportive, relationship where unexpected circumstances have caused the need for care and the demand of care where the adult has completely abandoned the role of parent.


As Grant Charles presented his research, the whole world might have melted away as he was speaking.  His words hit my ears as if they were meant for me alone.  As I looked at my daughter I could see that it was resonating with her as well.  We have stood in support of Young Carers program development in the six year journey since chronic illness entered our home but we both struggled at times with the ideology.  The stigma, the judgement, the blame were not lost on us as we struggled to maintain ourselves in the face of enormous challenges. 


I struggled with my own physical limitations, loss of my job, and complex changing relationships with friends and coworkers as I no longer was able to work, socialize and live the way I normally had.  My daughter struggled with balancing her concern for me with forging new relationships in high school.  No one seemed to be able to relate to us or our challenges and so many people turned away.  It was easy to feel stigmatized.  Nothing we experienced was normal.


Hearing this renowned researcher describe the differences lifted a burden from my shoulders.  My daughter felt a similar weight lift.  As we walked out of the conference room she said "you always supported me no matter what task I was doing."  She never felt like she was alone in providing assistance to me.  What an important distinction.  


In my opinion understanding the prevalence of young carers, the situations that cause caregiving needs and the rest of the work this research offer is just contextual framing for this discussion about parentification.   

The most important sentence in this document IMHO is this:

Quote:

Parentification insinuates that none of the parent-to-child support, mutuality or reciprocity that would be expected in a healthy parent–child relationship is present.

Hearing this helped us both to know that research supports the idea that kids in care giving situations are rarely seen as parentified.  Reviewing this document in preparation for the interview with the reporter I reviewed and reevaluated our lives since MS tore into our lives.  I realize that there have been many benefits to our relationship.  It is without a doubt a deeper bond based on mutual respect.  My children both are able to see people beyond disabilities of all kinds.  We are unfailing in our support of one another. 

Read the research paper here via the PDF download:

http://www.vanierinstitute.ca/?utm_s...m_medium=email 

Here is the reporters' original article from 2009:
http://www.thestar.com/parentcentral...ble-population

Here is the recent article:
http://www.thestar.com/living/articl...d-need-support

I share this story in the hopes that it will open a discussion for the benefit of the children providing care. This movement needs families to be able to embrace the Young Carer concept so that programs and services can be created to enhance our families by building on our strengths.

Celebrating Young Carers

Over the next week there will events across Niagara and Haldimand County supporting and celebrating Young Carers and their families.  These events will shine a spotlight on Young Carers and raise awareness of the issues and the need for us to support and recognize youth for their contributions.  These events have been arranged through the Powerhouse Project Young Carers Initiative.

I know that having MS impacts not only me but my whole family.  In our area we have started up programs to provide life skills, support and recreational opportunities to children who live in families facing chronic illness, disability, addiction, and language barriers.  These programs have offered my kids an opportunity to meet people in similar situations and have fun.

Do you have Youth Caregiver/ Young Carers programs in your area?  What do you love about the programs?  What would you like to see happen in them?  I'd love to hear about what is happening in your neck of the woods!

Niagara Events

Flag Raising at St.Catharines City Hall with Mayor Brian McMullan

Monday June 18th @ 9:30 am

Information Booth at the St.Catharines Central Library
Wednesday June 20th @ 1:00 – 4:00pm

Powerhouse Project Documentary Debut at the St.Catharines Central Library
Wendesday June 20th @ 6:30-7:30pm

Carer’s Week Celebration at Queenston Heights Memorial Park in Niagara Falls
Friday June 22nd @ 5:00 – 7:30pm

Haldimand County and Norfolk

Meet and Greet BBQ
 Monday June 18th @ 5:00 – 8:00pm

Powerhouse Project 101 Presentation to the Community at the Haldimand Abilities Centre
Wednesday June 20th @ 11:00am – 12:00

Hagersville Scavenger Hunt
Friday June 22nd @ 5:00 – 9:00pm

Support the Multiple Sclerosis Kidz Klub

Please support my friend in her mission to help out children who care for a parent with Multiple Sclerosis.
Here is her story:

‎13 years ago I was diagnosed with ms, It changed my life forever. I lost alot of things during my struggle. I could no longer teach, marriage, friends, but most important was my kids lost there childhood. They had to take care of me during these times when I lost use of my legs, when I went blind, loss of my hands. 
I Now have a chance to help other kids regain some of there childhood for a short time and after contest. I am by far the best makeover, but it goes according to votes. So I am asking you to go to the link below and vote. Each e-mail can be entered 5 times a day. I am hoping to win the $2500.00 for the MS kids summer camp.
Help me by helping them forget there worries and be kids for the summer.
Thanks
Kim and please pass the word


Here is a link that will allow you to vote for her.  People are permitted 5 votes per day.

 https://www.mkmakeovercontest.com/gallery.jsp?id=201932&lang=en&region=CA

Caregiving Kids

I am going to share an article published by CNN because it does such a good job of explaining the kinds of challenges faced by children who provide care to a disabled relative, the implications of these responsibilities and how programs can help to support families.  These children are worthy of recognition and support.  Bravo for shining a light on these children in the CNN Hero's story.  Kim

Help for a 'hidden population' of caregiving kids

By Danielle Berger, CNN

updated 6:11 PM EDT, Thu May 17, 2012

Boca Raton, Florida (CNN) -- At 13 years old, Nickolaus Dent is his mother's primary caregiver.

He's responsible for the grocery shopping and cooking. He cleans the house. He does all the laundry.

His mother, Janine Helms, has been battling HIV for as long as Nickolaus can recall, and her health has deteriorated in the last couple of years. Nickolaus makes sure she takes her medication. He often helps her get dressed, and at times, he has helped her bathe.

Nickolaus' father died two years ago. Since then, ensuring Helms' well-being has been a full-time job for Nickolaus, leaving him with little energy to socialize or study.

"It does make it hard to pay attention in class," he said. "Helping her out is a bigger priority than going to school and getting (an) education, because I feel if I don't have her, I don't want to go to school. Whatever happens to her happens to me."

Nickolaus is just one of the estimated 10,000 youth caregivers living in Palm Beach County, Florida, according to the American Association of Caregiving Youth. The nonprofit, founded by county resident Connie Siskowski, was instrumental in bringing this previously unrecognized population to light in 2002, and it has since provided support to more than 500 area youths who are caring for an ill, disabled or aging family member.

Connie Siskowski knows firsthand what it's like to be a child and take care of a loved one.

"No child in the United States should have to drop out of school because of caregiving," said Siskowski, 65. "These children suffer silently behind closed doors. ... They don't have the help and the support and the recognition that they need."

According to a 2006 study conducted by Civic Enterprises for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, 22% of high school dropouts in the United States leave school to care for a family member (PDF).

It's these children who Siskowski had in mind when her group started the Caregiving Youth Project at Boca Raton Middle School. The project, the first of its kind in the nation, aims to intervene early on in the academic lives of youth caregivers.

Special classes, led by a mental-health professional or social worker, cover topics such as coping with stress and anger, managing finances and setting goals.

Periodic field trips and overnight camps offer recreational, social and educational activities. There are home-care demonstrations and workshops.

The program also makes teachers and school administrators more aware of the children's extenuating circumstances and how they can lead to truancy, absenteeism and dips in academic performance.

The hope is to reduce the negative effects -- anxiety, depression and feelings of isolation -- that caregiving responsibilities can have on a child's mental, physical and emotional health.

CNN Hero helps teen who cares for mom

"We can't change the health condition of the person (receiving care)," Siskowski said. "But what we can do is provide the skills and the resources and the value to the children so that they can have a little more balance in their life. And also so that they know that they're not alone."

Since 2006, the program has been introduced into eight area middle schools and followed hundreds of students into 17 area high schools.

"We stay with them to graduation, and it's amazing," Siskowski said. "We've watched these kids grow up before our eyes. It's nothing that happens overnight, but it's very gratifying. It's like, 'OK, there's one more kid that's going to make it.' "

Nickolaus joined the program last year. The group provided him with a computer, a bed, clothing and tutoring. Now, he has raised his grades and aims to make the honor roll. He was also able to attend the group's overnight camp while a nurse's aide stayed with his mom.

"I found out there are more people that do the things I do, and some do more," he said. "Now I'm getting As and Bs, and I feel more confident in school."

Children in the program are also offered a home study by a medically licensed staff member or contractor who assesses what skills and resources are most needed to support a child. Working with dozens of community partners, Siskowski's group helps families with unique needs.

"We've provided clean-water systems and enlisted the support of community members to build wheelchair ramps or relocate a family from a moldy environment," said Siskowski, whose group relies solely on donations and grants. "We've provided in-home tutoring, light cleaning, translation and transportation support, counseling, access to medical care, financial assistance and food resources.

"We've donated computers and printers. And slow cookers, as we've had several fires in homes where children are cooking for their families."

Do you know a hero? Nominations are open for 2012 CNN Heroes

Siskowski knows the toll that caring for a loved one can take. As an 11-year-old, she cared for her grandfather until his death two years later. She remembers waking up at 2 a.m. to give him his medication and finding that he had died.

"I don't think I realized he was going to die. No one prepared me for that," she said. "It was very traumatic. But way back then, nobody really appreciated the trauma or the impact of losing someone."

Siskowski became a registered nurse in 1967 and has worked in Florida's health-care community for decades. Over the years, she has witnessed how technological advances have affected aging baby boomers and their families.

"People are living longer," she said. "We have much more technology and electronics that are available. ... More and more people who maybe yesterday would've been in a nursing home are being cared for at home. And so that puts a burden on a family.

"The hospital is in a unique situation. ... Technically, they're supposed to be able to give instruction to a caregiver. But sometimes that caregiver is a child."

The tasks can be sophisticated, too, from monitoring respiratory devices to cleaning catheters and preparing syringes. And not all of the children are caring for just one parent like Nickolaus. Others have to care for multiple family members, including siblings.

A report released in 2005 (PDF) by the National Alliance for Caregiving and the United Hospital Fund said there were at least 1.3 million caregiving youths, ages 8 to 18, nationwide. It's a population that has been virtually hidden for several reasons, including the reluctance of many sick parents to go public with their infirmity.

"Parents are embarrassed to tell school members, or the principal, that they have medical problems. ... Their pride goes out the window, and most feel more vulnerable," Helms said.

Children also fear trouble for themselves and for their families. While they might know that too many truancies and absences could land them in court, they're often more fearful that a parent could be deemed incapacitated and the family split up.

"Children are afraid to reach out because they don't want to be taken away from the parent," Helms said. "It's scary. And people don't want to be near you when you have an illness. It's just as hard on the disabled parent as it is the child, to open up. That's why it's kept like under the table."

Siskowski and her group are determined to create other options and provide other solutions. She says the first step is acknowledging youth caregivers and telling them they are not alone.

"We have definitely turned around lives and kept kids in school because they feel valued," she said. "They never knew anyone noticed or cared.

"It can turn their frustration and anger and flip it around to feel valued and supported in the role they are having for the family as well as society. If they weren't doing some of the things they are doing, who would be?"

Want to get involved? Check out the American Association of Caregiving Youth website at www.aacy.org and see how to help.

World MS Day

Red lights shone over Niagara Falls for World MS Day

Today is World MS Day!  Today I will be attending a celebration hosted by the MS Society of Canada in Niagara Falls.  There will be a presentation by a radiologist from Buffalo on the topic of CCSVI followed by a lighting of the Niagara Falls.  The falls will be lit up in red the national colour for MS in Canada.

Bridging the Gaps

                                                           Photo CreditShakeelgilgity

Time has a way of moving forward.  It moves forward even in spite of the events that seem to stop the world for just a moment for those of us in it.  I am sure if you think for a second you can conjure an image of a time when you were so lost in the moment that it seemed like time was standing still.  A few of these moments come to mind for me and they are the richest moments my life has offered me.  


For instance, the moment when my eyes first met my children; when my ears were blessed with the sound of their cry or the moment after learning of a death that I realized I would never see my loved one again.  I imagine that for people who survive natural disasters there is a moment that is a blip in time when the shock of what was and what is to come fractures the past from the future in an cosmic surge. What was, is no longer and there is nothing to do but let time provide a bridge to what will be.

A bridge is a structure built to span physical obstacles with the purpose of providing passage over the obstacle.   The bridge is a perfect analogy for the chasm that existed between my illness and my recovery; my life before diagnosis and my life after.  My life before illness and after were starkly different lands and the journey that bridged the two was built with some very important teachings.  The planks laid out for each step to be taken were vitally important so that I didn't fall into the abyss below.  There were many people who acted as stabilizing forces encouraging forward movement like a loud ticking clock leading me and propelling me along my journey.


Embracing fear, and working through the grief process has not been a linear process for me.  I have moved between fear (of my unknown future in terms of health), anger at the loss of my social stature and career, worry about how my mental adjustment and my physical health are impacting my children, and I have learned to relish moments of acceptance that are hard won and don't seem to last nearly as long as I'd like them to.


One thing that has become exceedingly clear to me is that while our experiences are different our individual journeys hold some stark similarities.  We all have a cross to bear in this world and we all struggle to find worth and purpose.  We all love, lose, grieve, triumph and we all have something unique to offer this world.  My work in the Young Carers movement has brought some vibrant, committed people of all ages into my life.  It has given me a place to invest my time, energy and advocacy.  


I look forward to sharing some themes from the recent conference I attended in my next entries and thank you for bridging the gap between what was and what is in my life.