Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Day Without Limitations

I remember a time when a potential cure for MS was presented in the media.  I went off to You Tube and watched video after video where people documented their recovery.  I was so lifted by the potential and filled by hope.  I started thinking about how it would be to live symptom free.  As I thought about it it seemed that the possibilities would be limitless.  

If I could move about with confidence and focus and energy my life could once again be full of potential.  Or at least the kind of potential that was available to an average person.  I began thinking about what it meant to be average.  To work very hard to make ends meet.  To stand with my peers and struggle through issues that were common- balance work and family life, creating a savings plan for our children etc.  I felt so set apart from my peers, so alone in my struggles that were so focused on health related issues.

In an instant I went from of place of hope and possibility, to a reassessment of losses.  That highlighted the journey with an endless grief process that seemed to never let me out of its grip.  

So, when I was recently asked "What would you do with a day with out MS?" I was surprised at how quickly my response came.  My first thought was I don't live like that anymore.  I choose to live from a place of acceptance and peace.  That means I have to practice gratitude for what I have today, in this moment because this is where I live.  Spending time wishing and dreaming for a different life doesn't enable me to live well and build opportunities for myself.  This is true no matter who you are.  This is a universal truth. 

Once again, I stand in the same mindset of my peer group because after all we all have challenges to face don't we?


nicole said...

I get it. But I do feel different amongst my friends at times. I just decided to widen my circle of friends.

Kim said...

Thank you Nicole for leaving your comment!

I think for a long time I felt so different from my friends that it seemed like we didn't have any common ground. I guess the point is finding that balance. Finding the things that unite us as people.

Good luck in widening that circle. I think this is harder to do as we get older in general (living with disability or not).


Donna S said...

Well said Kim!

It's unfortunate that the ability, or even the recognition and desire to try and live from a place of "gratitude and acceptance" is something that so many people don't even pause to think about. Life's losses and challenges often drive perspective - maybe that is a silver lining in a way. But you are right, it can make one feel a bit alienated.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou