Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Life of a parent

I will never cease to be amazed by how my son's brain works.

His mind is this intricate little web of complex thoughts so rarely shared that he is easily and so often underestimated. Since he was young he didn't take any risk that wasn't carefully evaluated, thought through and planned. No step would be taken until he had assessed and measured the task to ensure absolute success. I can think of examples of his complex inner workings that date back to infancy.

Tonight, we were on our way home from a mom and son night out. We went to see Moneyball, a movie that I'd heard him casually refer to wanting to see. He has played baseball for the past several years and I assumed his interest in the movie originated with his own experiences on the baseball diamond.

The movie was thought provoking and it was a nice evening out for us both. As we drove home he said I thought it was going to be good. It was based on a true story you know. I didn't know that. He proceeded to tell me that the story was written by Micheal Lewis and that he had taken note of the story when it was released in print a few years ago.

He said remember when we went to Chapters and I asked you to buy me the book Liars Poker? This was a book I had looked at at the time and thought was well beyond his years (he was about 13 at the time). He explained that he really wanted the book Moneyball at the time but at $24 he thought I would say no, this book was being sold for less money so he was willing to settle for reading another work by the acclaimed writer.

He went on to talk about the personality assessment profiles that he is taking in his careers class and what they are teaching him about his strengths and weaknesses. The tests and measures indicate that he his an independent thinker with strong intrapersonal skills. He is introverted, thoughtful and likes to work on his own. Sharing his thoughts and feelings come only after great deliberation. He is very humble and reserved and the depth of his thoughtfulness is often cloaked in subtlety.

He explained that the results of the True Colours test indicated that he was an equal mix of green and gold. Green is an expression of the logic - the system of existence and the abundance of this color in nature. Greens are concerned with the world's challenges, such as preserving the wisdom of mother earth for the future. Psychological research has shown the color Green to have a calming effect and many Greens demonstrate a composed demeanor using mind over emotion to orchestrate and solve the mysteries of life. Where as Gold is described as by the test as being associated with a person who has reverence for traditions, dates and customs. Gold is a color with numerous metaphors associated with it. Think of the common phrase, “Good as Gold”. It represents value, stability and strength. The expression “Solid Gold work ethic” conjures up an image of someone who is very responsible... on time, organized, fulfills their obligations with stellar dependability, efficiency and thoroughness. The classic expression “sets the Gold standard” is also a suitable fit.

These characteristics so perfectly sum up his psyche. Another example of my tendency to accept on face value his underrepresented thoughtfulness comes immediately to mind. A few years ago he asked for a bird feeder. He had taken an interest in birds and was studying encyclopedias and any other resources (as he has so many other times in life) to learn as much as he could about the various species.

For Christmas I made sure that he had a nice bird feeder and seed under the tree. I thought he would be excited when he opened the gift. Instead he said that the reason he had been asking for one was that the activity of the birds in and out of the tree would dissuade the bee's from building nests in the tree. The previous year we had a bee's nest that made it hard for him to cut the grass under the tree.

Such wisdom for such a young man. I am so regularly humbled by his patience with me as I slowly uncover how complex and thoughtful he is. I am reminded of how much we stand to gain by listening more and asking the right questions.


leela said...

This is a wonderful post, Kim! Your thoughts on parenting are very similar to mine, and your son sounds like someone I'd love to know.

Beautiful blog, BTW. Congratulations on getting it up and running!

Have Myelin? said...

What a delightful post for a wonderful son.

Love your blog, am glad I'm the first to follow! =)

Anonymous said...

Im smiling. Thank you.


Tricia Pell said...

Kim, he sounds like a joy to be around. I love how the mind can be so different for different people. I bet he'll go far in life.

Anonymous said...

This is enjoyable to read. Peoples mind work differently for sure..... Changes come all the time good or bad. We all learn from them and every experience is a learning one. We all have different roads....The mind....know one knows how it really works...the memories are the best.. thanks for sharing

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou