Sunday, October 9, 2011

Do What Works

Multiple Sclerosis has been an insidious thief gradually stealing my energy, flexibility, strength, coordination, sensation, balance and perception of where my body is in space. As a result I am no longer able to do many things the way I used to. I have had to leave a job I loved rather abruptly and make many modifications to my life. My career was such a focus in my life, when I lost it I lost much of my self definition.

In 2008 I was humbled yet again by this disease and bought a mobility scooter. I worried what other people would think when they saw me. This big machine made me so visible, yet I felt that society would classify me as invisible/expendable. What I found was that a blessing lurked not far beneath this hardship. I was able to move about freely and gracefully with out worry of falling. I could once again "browse" while shopping and I had energy to do more and BE more in this world.

I have decided  to dispense of my ego and just "do what works".

To my surprise I did not cease to exist. People were not mean or critical, dismissive or judging. In fact they often looked me right in the eye and met my smile with one in return. The "world" reflected back to me what I put out there. This world once again showed me that there was indeed a place for me.

I have been able to see that people will respond to me in just the way that they would have before despite my disability. They will see kindness as kindness, generosity as generosity, and genuineness for what it is. Although, the way I interact with the world in a physical sense may have changed, the world remains as it always was. Opportunities are plentiful and reasons for hope, abundant.

So my goal from here forward will be to continue doing what "works" and to find a new place to focus my energies, and talents. A place where I can begin to grow again. I am not sure where that place will be just yet but I now have renewed faith that there is indeed a spot waiting for me.


nicole said...

I love it!

Anonymous said...

right on! i
i experience the same, after all it's far more hopefull than in my thoughts.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou