Thursday, May 10, 2012

Bridging the Gaps

                                                           Photo CreditShakeelgilgity
Time has a way of moving forward.  It moves forward even in spite of the events that seem to stop the world for just a moment for those of us in it.  I am sure if you think for a second you can conjure an image of a time when you were so lost in the moment that it seemed like time was standing still.  A few of these moments come to mind for me and they are the richest moments my life has offered me.  

For instance, the moment when my eyes first met my children; when my ears were blessed with the sound of their cry or the moment after learning of a death that I realized I would never see my loved one again.  I imagine that for people who survive natural disasters there is a moment that is a blip in time when the shock of what was and what is to come fractures the past from the future in an cosmic surge. What was, is no longer and there is nothing to do but let time provide a bridge to what will be.

bridge is a structure built to span physical obstacles with the purpose of providing passage over the obstacle.   The bridge is a perfect analogy for the chasm that existed between my illness and my recovery; my life before diagnosis and my life after.  My life before illness and after were starkly different lands and the journey that bridged the two was built with some very important teachings.  The planks laid out for each step to be taken were vitally important so that I didn't fall into the abyss below.  There were many people who acted as stabilizing forces encouraging forward movement like a loud ticking clock leading me and propelling me along my journey.

Embracing fear, and working through the grief process has not been a linear process for me.  I have moved between fear (of my unknown future in terms of health), anger at the loss of my social stature and career, worry about how my mental adjustment and my physical health are impacting my children, and I have learned to relish moments of acceptance that are hard won and don't seem to last nearly as long as I'd like them to.

One thing that has become exceedingly clear to me is that while our experiences are different our individual journeys hold some stark similarities.  We all have a cross to bear in this world and we all struggle to find worth and purpose.  We all love, lose, grieve, triumph and we all have something unique to offer this world.  My work in the Young Carers movement has brought some vibrant, committed people of all ages into my life.  It has given me a place to invest my time, energy and advocacy.  

I look forward to sharing some themes from the recent conference I attended in my next entries and thank you for bridging the gap between what was and what is in my life.


sandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sandy said...

love it Kim. Your blog posts are so thoughtful, and enjoyable...

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou